June 29, 2014


It's not going to come as a surprise to any of you my lovely readers that I have been a tad busy at the moment. Always the way for us in the summer, work takes over and I become a sleepy hibernating hermit on any spare hours in the day. Despite working hard, I have to admit I love it. I am a totally adrenaline junkie and love being rushed off my feet working hard. I am a grafter and all, proud of it too. This however means that outside work, my life becomes a slight pit of nothingness. This I am OK with by the way but this year has planned out has been one hell of a rollercoaster.

Just to start, Jess and I, have had a few teething problems with our newly bought flat. It now won't be ready till April next year. Yes that is another whole 5 months on top of what we previously anticipated. This means, living at home for pretty much a whole year. I have said it before and I love my parents but oh man I just need my own space. Living away from home and then coming back is tough! Its like I have gone back 6 years to mum washing my clothes, arguing over the TV remote and forever hiding a sneaky cigarette at the end of the garden. I love my family home and it's probably the best place for me to be at the moment, as with my love life going full circle, upside down and topsy tervy, I need stability. 

I have to admit to you that I have never felt more content in myself and who I am. I am still working along side with my anxiety and trying to find my confidence again. These are things that will always be an uphill struggle but it's a struggle I am willing to take. I feel so grateful to have people around me who make me laugh every single day and I am starting to feel myself again slowly but surely. I can't go into too much detail (I am sure I will do one day, as you guys are like my best friends) but between you and me, alot of things are still pretty raw and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone who reads this so I have hidden away from openly sharing some parts of the last few months on LLP. Someone however has changed my life for the better and I feel like a giddy teenager again. You know what I'm on about. Things are looking up for me and with my focus being work and myself, I am making such huge steps in the right direction. 

I have started reading again, beginning with the incredible and very inspiring book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which I would recommend to anybody with the travel bug and certainly anyone like me who needs a bit of encouragement that things will be OK. This book has certainly taken me away from the shit I have been racking up in my little brain and always whisks me away to a calmer sanctuary. Her story has got me already planning a round trip to Italy in my head! I just need some dollar to fund it hehe and maybe a traveling partner, although, she did it alone so there is no stopping me! 

With my favourite saying "You have to get lost before you can be found" and with a smidgen of adventure, heading into the unknown and trusting the people around me, I can feel my future is going to bright and full of happiness. Even if it doesn't, who cares as long as I can find some hope in this fucked up world, I know I will be OK. I have to be.

Hugs & Kisses,
Becki xox



  1. I think you're definitely right - sometimes you just need to go home for a while to sort out your thoughts, and I really hope it helps :) By the sounds of it, it's probably best you're so busy too, anything to keep your mind of negativity is always helpful. I absolutely love the Eat, Pray, Love film and bought the book a while ago - now to get on and read it! Also, I love that saying!! Thanks for sharing it, I'm definitely going to bear that in mind when things aren't going quite to plan.

    Fingers are crossed that April comes round quickly for you!

    Steph xx
    Lay It Bare

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, made me smile xx

  2. I am glad to hear you are feeling much happier and I am not sure I could ever move back home again, though it has been over 10 years since I lived at home xx
    Beautyqueenuk xx

    1. Its such a toughy moving back home I am defo struggling slightly xx


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