November 08, 2015


Finding a balance between work, your home life and just for filling your own self is always difficult. As the nights draw in, it's so easy to just stay at home tucked up on the sofa forgetting people are actually out living their lives. I've shut off my life for far too long and being a stay at home bunny is fine but as long as you feel for-filled. 

AND I certainly don't! 

Having anxiety rule my life for so long has left me at 25 with hardly no memories that I have created of my own. Anxiety has stopped me for far to long. Since coming back from Paris, my first trip where I just went for it with no one stopping me (more like myself stopping me) I have made a promise to myself to just get out there. 

Stay out till the early hours of the morning, go see that exhibition I've been reading about for months or just go enjoy the air and tress around me. It's easy to say this when I'm feeling OK but when I'm not I've started to take on the tack tick to push myself out even more. Face my fears and be brave. 

I used to take myself out all the time, a walk, the cinema and art gallery either with someone or even on my own. Stopping to do the things I love over the years has made me miss out on so much and I massively regret letting myself get like this. That's why now I am getting out there again. Taking on my favourite city, eating out, experiencing new places and finally feeling like me again. 

Last weekend, I visited the best place for a fancy breakfast, The Wolseley with my bestie and her new other half and then went to see the new Ai Weiwei exhibit at the Royal Academy. It was such a great day and I felt so relaxed that it made me question why the hell I work things up in my head so much that I almost put myself off from doing anything. I should seize the day, strolling around, eating good food and being with great company is what weekends are for. 

Being at the Royal Academy made me realise that I hadn't been to a London exhibition for so long! I used to go to exhibits every single weekend a few years ago without a care in the world. Art is part of me and when I feed that part of me I feel alive again. Just like this picture above, I actually keep it as my background on my phone not because I'm vain but for me to be reminded everyday that I can go out and do things now, I don't want to be held back. 

I also especially love this picture as my friend took it when I didn't know she was, so yes that's me, me smiling, me feeling happy and being completely in my element, just me. That's how I want to look everyday.

Do things you love. Make time for them and slowly and surely you'll come back to who you are. I'm not just a person with anxiety but a person with anxiety who is taking on the world whether it's there or not. It's not going to stop me anymore. 

Hugs & Kisses
Becki xox



  1. I think you are doing marvellously well and look at all the stuff ive dragged you too x

    1. Hehe Ive leaped at going anywhere with you my lovely!! xx


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