February 17, 2016


Here at LLP HQ aka the bedroom, the living room and most of the time the floor, which is where Oscar likes to attack, there has been a hell of alot going on. Starting up LLP again this month was something I felt like I needed to do again. Blogging has always been my outlet and my home when it comes to feeling passionate about life. I love writing about beauty and sharing parts of my life with you, hoping that at least one of you lovely people out there just might find my writing helpful, entertaining or just to hear me rattle on.

I fell out of love with blogging for so many reasons last year and its not that I hated writing but it was finding the inspiration again. As I am sure many of you will remember - last summer my dad got sick. Not just sick I should say but cancer sick. I hate writing the word let alone saying the word out loud. In the summer and even all winter, I had hardly mangaed to deal with it, basically I was in deniel the more I look back on it but I knew it had affected me. Things in life just somehow felt trivial  and writing about beauty become just silly, which for a complete beauty addict who LOVES this blog, I knew something didn't feel right. That may explain the flakey June to Jan LLP, which I am so ashamed of now. I hated that I lost the love and even as I type now passionate and alive again, I can see that I wasn't myself.

Since then, last month my dad had major surgery and is now in recovery, which is a step in the right direction. It was one of the toughest two weeks I've experienced in a long while, fighting not only my own demons fearing hospitals but to see my dad with tubes coming out of everywhere and just lying in hospital was awful. 

However the worst is hopefully over as they say. He's not cured and like many people know once you have had cancer or have cancer it kinda follows you where ever you go. Yearly, three yearly, weekly and monthly check ups with forever worry to hear it's back...now that's the next step but at least I know I can be strong now, I know we will be able to pull through anything. 

Trying to find my feet again become tough after my dads op, I'd spend my weekends in front of the TV and just wishing I could find something to get me back motivated for life again. Although Oscar was wonderful company during those tough times and just to have him there made me feel like I had to get up.

I started by simply looking into evening courses that I might possibly be able to do, something that will get my brain back and get me thinking again (and of course off the bloody sofa!). I booked an evening course at the V&A to get me started and being three weeks in it's fantastic! I will write a post all about it soon. I have also applied to volunteer with Age UK, a charity that I just knew would be fulfilling to not only me but to meet elderly people that can teach me their wisdom. I miss my Grandma terribly and I think I will feel her presence even more doing something good like this. Of course the process to start volunteering takes forever with all the references and checks so fingers crossed I will make it through.

I started engaging on social media again, a post about my detox will be up in a few weeks and it's well worth a read. I've started working on my Instagram (yes its more work now than ever before to maintain a beautiful feed) and also just falling back in love with using beauty again. My routine had become sloppy, I was just using anything lying around, awful as it sounds its true. This kicked me back into motion and after just a few weeks of dedicating time and caring for myself more with no worries I feel more myself....and I am back on LLP.

With a new schedule of posting five days a week,  I hope you'll enjoy me being back!

Hugs & Kisses
Becki xox


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